Oh, Jesus....come quickly!
It's been a bit more than 48 hours since a 20 year old man walked into an elementary school and killed 26 people. 48 hours that 20 mamas have been missing their babies. 48 hours since daddies found out they would never finish raising their children. 20 children. 6 adults. 27 families destroyed in just a few minutes of utter chaos.
I can't imagine. I can't imagine being a mama who sent her child to school, never to hug them again. I can't imagine being a teacher, hiding my students in closets and corners. I can't imagine being a first responder, busting through windows and seeing the images that would forever be burned in their minds. I can't imagine being the father and brother of the man who did this. I just can't imagine.
How does a family, a school, a community, a nation recover from this? How do we honor the children and women who died, while dealing with the emotional toll this will take on everyone? How do we heal and support a community that was safe, but is now violated?
I don't have any answers.
I don't even pretend to understand.
But I do know that God has not forsaken his people. He is not absent in this tragedy. When we turn to him, we will find a way to recover. We will find a way to honor the lives that were taken too early for our understanding. We will heal and support. We will find a way to balance a talk about gun laws and mental illness.
There are other thoughts that I'm struggling with. Thoughts of my own reaction as a teacher and a mother.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Revival
M and I had so much fun reading back through this blog and looking at her pictures. So, I'm aiming for a Benson Family and other stuff revival. For it seems our life is chock full of Benson family and more than our fair share of "other stuff"!
I will admit that it seems a bit funny to post on here when I use face book as my social life. Not sure what that says at me as a mom and friend!
So, where are we? What's going on at this, the new starting, point for The Benson Family and other stuff?
H: H closed his chiropractic office in the spring and has been working for our church part time, helping some friends who own a small business a few hours each week, and doing lots of handy-man work. The Lord has been absolutely faithful in providing work for H. He has not been without work a single day since he closed his office. As each project draws near completion, someone has called him with a new project. It's been amazing to see in action.
Me: I'm still plugging away in kindergarten. There have been lots of changes in the school system this year and I'm really struggling. I've also got a fairly difficult class (how in the world can a classroom of 5 year olds be so difficult?!?!) and I don't know if the constant strain is from the class, the changes in the system, or a combination of both. I'm also not at the top of my game physically---waiting on gall bladder surgery on 12/19. I'm hopeful that will relieve my discomfort and provide better rest, which will in turn, relieve some of that constant strain at school. I know that the Lord is using this for a purpose. I know I will look back at this time in my life and see His hand fully at work.
Meryt: Oh, help me, if M is not one of the most delightful children to ever grace my life! She can be so thoughtful and helpful. She plunged into 1st grade and is doing fabulous. We have been beyond blessed that her kindergarten and 1st grade teachers love her so much. Her grades are perfect (literally...as in, nearly all 100s!). I struggle with wanting her to mess up so she knows that it's okay to do that and bursting with pride because she's doing so well! I try not to brag on her too much because I don't want her to put pressure on herself to continue to make nearly perfect grades; yet, H and I want her to know how proud we are of her. We're walking a fine line. We sure do adore this sweet girl. In her spare time, we'll find her playing with her animals (she's got quite the collection of plastic animals and other odds-and-ends animals), coloring/crafting, or helping me in the kitchen.
Luke: What a precious toddler L is becoming! We've enjoyed eating out twice in a row now without any fussing or meltdowns...once by myself, even! I never thought we'd see that day! :) L is either on a super high or he's having a fit. No middle ground for our boy! He couldn't be more different from M and we couldn't love him any more. He is all boy, all the time. His laugh is absolutely contagious. When he gets going, it's so hard not to laugh with him. He's perfecting the diversion technique when he gets in trouble. When I give him the stink-eye, he'll look at me out of the corner of his eye and grin or try to tickle me. If I put him in time-out, he'll wait until I walk away, hop out of the chair, find me and ask a totally random question, like, "Where-dadda-at?" As if I didn't just put his naughty behind in time out! He loves ALL things balls and cars. He also happens to love permanent markers and he's quicker than lightening. Twice now he's found a permanent marker and permanently decorated our carpet, wall, and the dog's kennel. We will definitely be replacing the carpet whenever we move. But we are permanently in love with this little guy. In the summer, I was concerned about his hearing, so we had it checked. No need to worry about his ability to hear! He's a little chatter box now. 24 months was the magical age, as most other moms-of-boys advised. He does struggle with ear infections, so we are going to put tubes in soon--waiting on the ENT office to call to schedule that. I'm excited to see how his speech clears up after we clear up his ears! Meryt and I can understand almost all of what he says (if it's in context...we do struggle when he asks a question and we don't know the context).
So, that's where we are right now. Just being the Benson Family.
I will admit that it seems a bit funny to post on here when I use face book as my social life. Not sure what that says at me as a mom and friend!
So, where are we? What's going on at this, the new starting, point for The Benson Family and other stuff?
H: H closed his chiropractic office in the spring and has been working for our church part time, helping some friends who own a small business a few hours each week, and doing lots of handy-man work. The Lord has been absolutely faithful in providing work for H. He has not been without work a single day since he closed his office. As each project draws near completion, someone has called him with a new project. It's been amazing to see in action.
Me: I'm still plugging away in kindergarten. There have been lots of changes in the school system this year and I'm really struggling. I've also got a fairly difficult class (how in the world can a classroom of 5 year olds be so difficult?!?!) and I don't know if the constant strain is from the class, the changes in the system, or a combination of both. I'm also not at the top of my game physically---waiting on gall bladder surgery on 12/19. I'm hopeful that will relieve my discomfort and provide better rest, which will in turn, relieve some of that constant strain at school. I know that the Lord is using this for a purpose. I know I will look back at this time in my life and see His hand fully at work.
Meryt: Oh, help me, if M is not one of the most delightful children to ever grace my life! She can be so thoughtful and helpful. She plunged into 1st grade and is doing fabulous. We have been beyond blessed that her kindergarten and 1st grade teachers love her so much. Her grades are perfect (literally...as in, nearly all 100s!). I struggle with wanting her to mess up so she knows that it's okay to do that and bursting with pride because she's doing so well! I try not to brag on her too much because I don't want her to put pressure on herself to continue to make nearly perfect grades; yet, H and I want her to know how proud we are of her. We're walking a fine line. We sure do adore this sweet girl. In her spare time, we'll find her playing with her animals (she's got quite the collection of plastic animals and other odds-and-ends animals), coloring/crafting, or helping me in the kitchen.
Luke: What a precious toddler L is becoming! We've enjoyed eating out twice in a row now without any fussing or meltdowns...once by myself, even! I never thought we'd see that day! :) L is either on a super high or he's having a fit. No middle ground for our boy! He couldn't be more different from M and we couldn't love him any more. He is all boy, all the time. His laugh is absolutely contagious. When he gets going, it's so hard not to laugh with him. He's perfecting the diversion technique when he gets in trouble. When I give him the stink-eye, he'll look at me out of the corner of his eye and grin or try to tickle me. If I put him in time-out, he'll wait until I walk away, hop out of the chair, find me and ask a totally random question, like, "Where-dadda-at?" As if I didn't just put his naughty behind in time out! He loves ALL things balls and cars. He also happens to love permanent markers and he's quicker than lightening. Twice now he's found a permanent marker and permanently decorated our carpet, wall, and the dog's kennel. We will definitely be replacing the carpet whenever we move. But we are permanently in love with this little guy. In the summer, I was concerned about his hearing, so we had it checked. No need to worry about his ability to hear! He's a little chatter box now. 24 months was the magical age, as most other moms-of-boys advised. He does struggle with ear infections, so we are going to put tubes in soon--waiting on the ENT office to call to schedule that. I'm excited to see how his speech clears up after we clear up his ears! Meryt and I can understand almost all of what he says (if it's in context...we do struggle when he asks a question and we don't know the context).
So, that's where we are right now. Just being the Benson Family.
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