Tired today...

I'm tired today for a lot of reasons...

1.) Today was the HARDEST day of my teaching career...in seven years, today was the hardest. I had my first real injury. My mind's eye has replayed it a zillion times since two o'clock. An eight year old little girl stumbled over another child's chair and went face first into our cubbies. The sound of her precious cheek connecting with the wood will haunt me tonight in my dreams. Her scream shook the school. I'm not sure how I manuvered over the other children, but I had her in my arms as fast as I physically could. I was rocking her and whispering to her. I could not hear another sound but my own whisper. The only sight I could see were her eyes staring at me. Then I saw the blood and realized, I knew, my instincts told me, that she needed to get the to ER. There was SO. MUCH. BLOOD. I couldn't tell where it was coming from, but it was more blood than should ever, ever, ever come from the face of your student. I had her up and walking toward the elevator as I screamed down the hall for someone to cover my class. The next 20-30 minutes are a blur--the next thing I clearly remember is her mother's reaction to the wound. I'm surprised she held it together. I truly thought the nurse was going to have two patients. So, I sent one of my little students to the ER. Tonight at 9:30, she and her mom await the plastic surgeon's visit to repair her sweet little face. She'll have a scar and I have a blood soaked shirt. This was the hardest day of my teaching career.

2.) M is still sick. Yesterday when I stayed with her, she was fussy and crabby, but no fever. Today, after sending one kid to the ER, I got the dreaded call from the babysitter--M is running a fever again. So, I called H and he stepped up to the plate--bat in hand, ready to swing at the pitch. He's taking him with her tomorrow. Why should this exhaust me? Because last night, when I went to book club for 1 hour, he decided to give her dimetapp. I'm sure this knocks most kids out, but not little M. Oh, no...SHE WAS WIRED. Wide open. She was JUMPING in her crib, laughing hysterically, then sobbing, then laughing, then sobbing, then laughing (get the picture?!?!). Finally I got her up and took her to our bed around 10. After being punched in the face for 20 minutes, I thought to myself, it's time for her to run this off. So, breaking a cardinal parenting rule (the one that says NEVER get your kid up after she's been put down for the night), I got her up and took her downstairs, where she ran, with her hands waving in the air, the length of the house atleast 150 times laughing like a maniac. I finally caught her when I held out a sippy cup with the beloved milk in it. She drank like she was a gypsy in the desert who had discovered a wating hole. Let's all pray H does NOT get the brainstorm of medicating M again tomorrow. Oh, wait...if he does, he'll have to put up with her!

3.) I'm tired of having the battle of having to work when M is sick or staying at home with her. I love teaching...I really do. But I feel guilty when I leave M and she needs me and I feel guilty when I take the day off because she needs me! Guilt is an emotion I just can't shake. I'm tired of feeling guilty.

So, that about sums me up today. Tired.

I'm going to sew... I'll post lots of pictures this weekend.