Tuesday, November 4, 2008

When things were easier

Do you remember a time when things were easier? Perhaps childhood when you knew to head home when the streetlights came on? Perhaps in college when you just had to study, attend class and hang out with friends? Life before kids? Life before marriage?

At this point in my life, I'd give anything to head back to that place where things were easier.

"No, NO!" (fingers pointed, voice emphatic, confident even) M's version of easier. When we were trick-or-treating Friday evening, if something frightened M, she'd point her finger at it and proclaim, "No, NO!" The first No a bit timid, the second NO with conviction.

I'm finding this approach doesn't work as well for me.

At 7:30 Friday evening, my cell phone rang. The caller ID indicated the call was coming from M's pediatrician's office. Yes, at 7:30 ON A FRIDAY EVENING. As I hesitantly answered it, I heard the words I dread every time we head to the peds office. "Mrs. Benson, we just got the results from M's urine sample you dropped off this morning. It seems she's got ANOTHER urinary tract infection."

My response? "No, NO!" I'm frightened. I'm upset for her. I'm super thankful we just happened to drop off a long overdue urine sample that very morning, before she was symptomatic and hurting. I want this to go away and never plague her again. I don't want to deal with this when we're dealing with an upcoming foot surgery that I barely understand.

I called the orthopedist office not once today, but twice, and haven't heard back from them. I was told to wait one week to call to schedule the surgery to make sure the surgery orders arrived on the surgery coordinator's desk. Did she call me back today? (Dearest surgery coordinator...if you happen to read this blog, forgive me and don't hold my apprehension against M and postpone her surgery.) NO, SHE DID NOT. What??? That's HER JOB. "No, NO!" I want to tell her. Don't make me wait any longer to schedule this. We MUST do it before the end of the year because we've already met M's deductible. Not to mention, I've prepared myself emotionally for this. Let's get it on the books before my apprehension REALLY takes over. We don't even want to talk about how we've been preparing M for this. Let's get this show on the road.

I only wish "No, NO!" worked as well for me as it did for M. Each time she said it, she became a little more sure of herself and a little less scared of the world.

I wonder what would happen if I stared muttering "No, NO!" under my breath when I needed a little confidence?


Susie and Joe said...

you must post more pictures of m in her costume! i can't quite figure it out!
praying that the lady will call you back and surgery gets scheduled for this year.
enjoyed spending time with you last night! i'll post pics tomorrow!

Andi said...

My friend...I so wish that "No, NO!" was all we ever needed to deal with the rest of the world! I, too, am feeling SUCH HUGE stress...though it is completely job related, and the stress of worry about your sweet daughter takes the cake every time! I want to yell out with M at everything in my life that is frightening me right now...SHE has the answer! I pray that things will settle down for you, that this surgery WILL be scheduled ASAP, and that in the end it will be the best and easiest thing for her.
I am with Susie- more photos of the costume!! I am sorry that I missed the hoopla on our street and missed seeing it in person.
Prayers and love always!

Kyla said...

What is this "easy" you refer to? I am unfamiliar with the concept. LOL.

Not only do I wish "No,NO!" was an acceptable response, sometimes I wish tantrumming was still in play on occasion. LOL.