Thursday, October 29, 2009

Sadly, No Miracles Happened Around Here

Sadly, there was not a miraculous healing with M's kidneys.

We've had a long day. None of us ate until after 4:00 p.m. M was a complete trooper the entire day and did not cry one time. She constantly amazes me with her ability to handle the stresses of being at the hospital. Every time we've had to be there, she's incredible. She marched in, smiling and greeting anyone who looked at her. She was so polite to her nurses and the child life specialist. She even played with a little boy next to us while we waited (for 4 hours) to have the VCUG done. On a side note, several of the employees said, "Haven't you been here before?" I wasn't sure if that was because we were so terrible or so delightful!!! One lady even specifically remembered doing the VCUG with us last year!!

The ranking scale for kidney reflux is 1 (being least severe) and 5 (most severe). M's right kidney is a 2 and her left kidney is a 3. The pediatric radiologist (I love, love, LOVE him. More on that later) seemed more concerned about her condition than I've felt from the pediatric urologist last year (see post to remember my opinion of him) or her pediatrician. He encouraged us to see a highly recommended pediatric urologist, the best in the state, in his opinion. He noticed, or she developed, a kidney diverticulum. That means a pouch or sac has developed attached to her left kidney. I'm not sure if this is what raised his concern or just the fact that she has not improved since last year. He, unfortunately, does not feel that M will outgrow this condition. TOTAL BUMMER.

I'm so thankful that the Lord arranged for us to have this particular radiologist. He was so wonderful with M. She was put under just enough to be totally unaware of what was happening to her, thanks to another wonderful person in the room, the pediatric anesthesiologist, who explained everything to M before he did it. When the radiologist wanted M shifted or moved, he would give the directions, then say, "Mom, tell her we're shifting her to the left, putting her on her back, taking pictures of her." "Isn't she so beautiful?" "Oh, she's doing such a wonderful job." So even though M was in la-la land, I was whispering to her everything that was happening. I have no idea if that made a difference to her, but it was extremely comforting to me! When he was done and she was "relaxing" for a moment, he went back over some of the images with me, explaining them so I could understand. I don't remember everything he said, even though I tried to repeat it so I would. I wish he was a regular doctor so he could see him all the time! We adore M's pediatrician, but this doctor comes in a very, very close second! When we went to a different part of the hospital to have a renal ultrasound, I mentioned his name to the ultrasound technician (who has been down the road of infertility with his wife! You can find out a lot of information in a darken room while someone is ultrasound-ing your kid!), he said, "Oh, you're so lucky! He's the best!"

So, no miracles for us today. But we had wonderful care for our sweet girl. And I'm so thankful for that. I'm very thankful that we had a doctor who could explain things to me in a simple, straightfoward way without alarming me. I'm thankful that the nurses and other caretakers were so kind to us and we witnessed them being so kind to several other patients.


sallie said...

The kindness and peace these people gave you was a miracle. It doesn't happen everyday. God had spoken into their hearts before you got there. Many prayers for your daughter.

Kristen said...

Sorry that you didn't have better news to report, but so thankful that the experience was such a good one for everyone. I'd be happy to be M's personal CLS if she needs one :) Keep us posted and let us know how we can help. When is your next appt.?

Ashley said...

Thank you for your sweet comment on my blog....It's always so fun to hear from people, especially those you've never even met! I'm so sorry about M and also for the infertility. I hope one day soon I will happen on your blog to some wonderful news of 2 miracles...M's kindeys being healed and a pregnancy!!!(:

Rachel said...

Sorry you didn't get the news you wanted, but I am glad you got such good care! And I agree with Sallie, the care and the concern you got and the exact doctors/radiologist you saw were just the small miracles you needed from the Lord! Hugs and prayers for y'all and M!

Arizaphale said...

You guys sure are having your share of frustrations aren't you. Still, what a brilliant little girl to handle it all so well and what a blessing to have such wonderful people caring for you.

Ansley said...

Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you today. Praying for sweet M and your family. Please keep us updated on her future appointments and let me know if there is ever anything I can help do. Much love to you!!

Colleen said...

I'm so sorry things did not progress as you'd hoped. What wonderful care though. It sounds like you were blessed with caring and helpful medical staff. Hopefully M will be able to get whatever treatment she needs and will get all of this taken care of.