So very thankful...and scared

Dearest Luke,

If there is one things I struggle with as you grow in my tummy is the reality that not all mama's get to bring their babies home. Truthfully, I've spent the better part of the past two weeks calming myself down, reminding myself that your appointments have been absolutely normal, that your heartrate is perfect, that you are in a great position for delivery and on and on. Little man, I have no idea what my problem is except that I lack faith that the Lord is truly blessing us with YOU! I love feeling you kick and move inside me.

We've had two baby showers and, man, oh, man, have we been blessed! I can't wait to actually hold you and dress you in all the sweet things you've been given. I can't tell you how much we are loved. There are so many people who have prayed with us and for us as we waited for you and now that you are almost here, they love to shower us with wonderful things!

You are due to arrive in 20 days. Buddy, that's less than 3 weeks! How is that possible? M is excited beyond belief--she has three "Big Sister" shirts to wear. Daddy put your car seat in the van today. Your crib is up. The bassinet sheets are being washed right now. Diapers and wipes are here and I need to put them in the changing table. I really need to sort and wash your first set of clothes so I'll have something clean to put you in when you get here. Daddy is excited that you are due on the UGA/Auburn game day. I need to find you a newborn UGA outfit to take to the hospital with us so we can put it on you as soon as you are born. 20 days!! I'm so thankful...and so scared!

I want you to know a little bit about your daddy. He is so excited about having another baby in the house. Truthfully, he's normally the one who is a little pessimistic and I'm the one who believes everything is fine and dandy. With you, he absolutely can not wait for you to get here. He was the same way with your big sister. He LOVES having babies around. Last week, he dismanted, washed, and reassembled every single bottle, the bottle holder, the baby food carousel, the car set and stroller. If you came tomorrow, he'd be ready.

You are one loved little boy. We are having so much fun looking at all the blue boy stuff. We're thankful we have a girl because we got to do the pink hairbows, butterfly, flower thing before. Now we're doing trucks, trains, dinosaurs, and tools. It's so much fun! We can't wait to see how different your personality is from M's. I know you will your own little person.

20 days, little guy. Just 20 days.

We love you,
Mama, Daddy, and M

I.N.C.R.E.D.I.B.L.E.

33 miners.

69 days.

Less than 24 hours.

How in the world can you not want to praise God right this moment? This is incredible. I am beyond amazed that it took less than 24 hours to rescue 33 miners who have been trapped for 69 days. They are healthy. They are in good spirits. They are reunited with people who love them. They can see the sun rise tomorrow morning, for the first time in 69 days!

There are hundreds of people who played a part in this rescue. Hundreds of minute details had to come together in just the right way for this to happen successfully. The people were in place. The details came together.

Incredible.

5 Things about my Favorite 5 Year old

Who is this stranger that robbed me of my baby? I just can not believe M is five today. It's 4:19 PM right now as I type and five years ago, she was still part of me, not quite yet ready to enter the world. But it wouldn't be long. Not long at all.

Sort of like the past five years. Not long. Not long at all.

I don't want to forget her at this stage. I always thought four was my favorite age, but I'm adjusting my thinking. I L.O.V.E. five (or at least the few weeks leading up for five!).

Here are five things about my favorite five year old:

1.) She loves to read.
She loves looking at books and trying to retell the story. If she doesn't know something or can't remember the details about a certain part of the story, she'll say, "You read this part to me." All of a sudden, letters and sounds mean something to her. She's beginning to hear sounds when words are presented orally and can remember how to spell the words she's interested in (names of friends, family members and pets, zoo, cat, dog, etc). If I say "zero" she'll say, "zero starts with z." Substitute a myriad of words and you'll have an understanding of our conversations lately.

2. She's really into independent play.

She'll play in the tub for hours with empty bottles or a bath doll. She'll be gone for a while and when I find her, she's got a variety of toys spread out and she's playing away. She gets frustrated with me when I play with her because I don't play "right." It's easier for her if I just stay away so she doesn't have to tell me how to do everything.

3. Speaking of independent...she's just really independent.

Since we let her pick out her own tooth paste (why, oh why did I not do that MONTHS ago?), she's brushing her teeth at least twice a day without help. She's learning how to wash her own hair. She's getting pretty good at choosing her own snack from the fridge (with guidelines: MUST BE HEALTHY!). She is learning how to pour her own beverage. She can get herself dressed (terrible as this is, I still pick out her clothes each morning). Five is going to be a good year for her.

4. She LOVES.

That's about as blanket as I can get. She is one of the most loving children I've ever met. She was involved in a situation at school in which some little boys said some very unkind things to her. As H and I questioned her about the situation, she would not say anything to get the little boys into trouble. It was sweet in an innocent way (even though we really needed to get to the bottom of the conversation!!! Thankfully, a teacher overheard it an intervened. She was the one who wanted us to question M.). She loves us and hugs us all the time. She loves our pets and is very affectionate to them. She can't wait for Luke to get her and she loves him already. She loves to learn Bible stories and hymns. I love watching her in church as things become more and more familiar to her. If there was one word to describe M, I would chose LOVE.

5. A few details. (Answers by M!)

Favorite Show: Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

Favorite Drink: Punch

Favorite Food: Chips n Cheese

Favorite Book: Dora Stories

Favorite Friend: Gracen

Favorite Toy: Horse Purse and Doll house

Favorite Movie: Strawberry Shortcake

Favorite Thing to Do: Swim

Favorite Color: Blue

Favorite Animal: Horses

Favorite Song: Precious Blood of Jesus (Nothing but the blood of Jesus)

Happy Birthday, M. I couldn't have imagined who you would be at 5. I certainly can't imagine who you will be at 10, 15, or 25. But I know I love you today as much as I did the very first time I held you in my arms. And I know I will love you at every single stage in your life. I am so proud of you. I am so proud of who you are becoming.

Thankful

I'm feeling a little...melancholy today. Perhaps that's not the right word. There are lots of posts bouncing around in my head, but I can't wrap my mind around one enough to get it ready to put out here.

So, instead of working through a lot of "stuff," I'm just going to give you a little list of things I'm super thankful for. I stumbled upon a a blog from Canada, where they just celebrated Thanksgiving. I know I'm way ahead of Americans in posting a thanksgiving post, but I thought it would help center me on blessings instead of some of the junk that I've allowed to infiltrate today. I'm a bit tired, which makes me more vulnerable to sadness. I don't want to be sad when there is so much to celebrate and be thankful for!

1. H. He's incredible. He gave up UGA tickets this weekend because we've already promised M and the youth we're going to the fair Saturday.

2. M. She's at a delightful stage. I always thought 4 was my favorite age. 5 might just take the cake. The past few days have been AWESOME. (Despite her need of a little bit of middle of the night snuggling!) Have I mentioned that I can't seem to fill her up? She gulped down her lunch today. Tonight she's eaten spicy Chinese food, two cookies, a small scoop of ice cream, and mandarin oranges. Something strange is a brewin' in that child. Something very strange.

3. Baby Luke. He's already such a blessing. I love his little (sometimes huge!) kicks and pushes.

4. Friends. One special friend purchased a bassinet for Luke so he can sleep in our room for a few months. Another special friend called today and said she had the perfect costume for M for Halloween. Yet another friend dropped off a huge bag of boy things for us yesterday. Two different sets of friends are hosting showers to celebrate Luke. Two other friends have given us large bags of gorgeous hand-me-downs. BLESSINGS, I tell you. Actually, I can't even begin to tell you how blessed we are by these gifts. Thank you, friends, from a deep, deep place in our hearts. We are so very thankful.

5. Church. There are no words in this world to describe the change that is happening in our home church. We have a new minister and he is rocking our world. His passion, his enthusiasm, his LOVE for the Lord and for His (and his) people are beyond comprehension. He is humble. He is thankful. He is honest. He is emotional. He is unreal. After being dry for so long, I find that I can not contain my own passion and emotions. I think poor H is so embarrassed in church sometimes. I cry. I whisper Amen. I want to hold my arms in the air and praise! That is most unlike me, actually. I couldn't even make it through the last hymn this week because I got so emotional. This is good. So good. It's good to FEEL something.

So much for my quick list that I thought was going to be forthcoming! There are so many things for which I need to be thankful. The Benson Family has indeed been blessed and we need to focus on that.

Birthday in Pictures

A very special someone in my life will turn 5 on Tuesday, October 12. I just can't believe that five years have passed by already! Goodness gracious. There are millions of things I love about this special someone, but today, this post is about her. In pictures. With only a few of my words.

Excited and waiting for her birthday guests to arrive.

The birthday princess

The goodies waiting to dress their princesses

Castle Cake (made by Mama, decorated by Daddy)

Thinking about her wish, ready to blow out the candles

Opening her gifts.

The guests took a Princess Walk around the neighborhood, chanting "Prin-cess Walk...Prin-cess Walk" as they marched (jogged, ran, walked) around the neighborhood.

Incredible day for an incredible girl. Nona, OB, Aunt L, Uncle T, Cousins R and I were here, too. Can't wait until Tuesday--the actual event!

A story from M

(Forgive my scanning issues!)

Once upon a time, there was a princess and she had a pony and her world was black except for the sky. The sky was blue and then they had to walk a long, long time for her castle.

The end.

Story dictated and illustrated by M. Benson 10/7/10.

Times are a changin'

At school today, I happened to read a notice going home tomorrow in the children's signed paper folder. (Honestly, sometimes I just skim them and don't pay lots of attention. Bad teacher, I know.) I nearly lost my breath when I saw the notice about magnet school applications.

I teach at a magnet school. In order for M to attend Kindergarten at my school, she must apply and be accepted. Then she must be interviewed and assessed for placement next year.

MY KID IS OLD ENOUGH TO APPLY FOR A KINDERGARTEN POSITION! AND IT MUST BE DONE NOW!

6 days shy of her 5th birthday and I'll be filling out a form requesting a position for her in kindergarten.

Wow. Things will sure be different next year when we're actually in the same school. I just can't believe she's ready for kindergarten. But then again...I can completely believe it. Perhaps I just don't want to!

Weirdo Comments

Hey friends,



How in the world do I stop the weirdo comments that have started arriving the past few months? They link back to websites, not to actual blogs. I don't want to have to go private. Any suggestions? I'd hate to shut this down, but I don't like the

Keep comin' back

I keep comin' back to this place, but I can't find the words to share. All is well. All is good, actually. We're less than 6 weeks (hopefully!) from meeting our boy. As I get closer to meeting him, I get more tired and more emotional. Poor H is married to a woman who is either mad or crying. You can pray for him and for the psychotic woman who has overtaken my body and soul. My mom assured me this is nothing new for me and is actually H's reality. That did a lot to reassure me that I will one day be a pleasant person again.

I'm normally the "strict" parent while H usually plays the "Disneyland Dad" role. Because I've been so tired, he's had to take up my slack. Poor M is majorly confused about our switch in parenting roles. Just the other evening, H bought her a treat at a football game. She'd eaten about half when I returned from visitig with some teachers I knew there. She asked me if she could have some more. "Sure, honey!" was my reply (she was shocked because I never would normally agree to that!). When H saw her hands sticky with cotton candy, he was LIVID. So funny. Normally that story would have gone down the other way.

Bedtime? What's a bedtime? The schedule nazi (me) has completely given it up. She's going to bed anywhere from 8:00 (needs to be in bed) to 11:00 because we were at the ballgame. NEVER would have happened a few months ago.

Went to the doctor unexpectedly this week because I was so uncomfortable with little Luke. I couldn't get rid of some tummy pain. I wasn't worried I was in labor, but I needed some relief. The doctor provided more mental relief than physical, but it worked. I've been feeling better this week. Going again on Thursday for a check-up. Can't believe I'm 34 weeks this week. The beginning is so slow for me and the end speeds by. The sermon was awesome in church this morning...I know because I was enjoying it and Luke was just a moving around during most of it.

Ending with a sweet story. At the ballgame Friday evening, M asked me if Luke could hear her talk to him. "Of course," I told her. She put her face against my belly and talked for a long time. Then she put her ear right where her mouth at been. When I asked what she was doing, she told me she wanted to hear what he had to say back! So funny!