The Past Few Weeks

A lot has happened in the past few weeks in the Benson household.

About two weeks ago, our lab got sick. She was refusing her food and barely eating any table scraps we offered...completely unlike her. In fact, we accidentally left a box of cereal on the table and she didn't even bother it. COMPLETELY unlike her.

Mocha, our lab, spent a few nights with the vet under the assumption that she'd eaten something bad or had some type of worm. After several rounds of antibiotic shots and a few days of rest, she came home. We thought she was doing much better.

Then we left town and hired a pet sitter to come to the house several times a day. Mocha's always had some separation anxiety, so we weren't really surprised when our sweet sitter called to tell us she was having accidents in the house. After a {rather heated} discussion, H and I decided for the sitter to take Mocha to the vet for boarding until we returned.

When H went to pick her up Monday afternoon, the vet wanted to keep her one more day. During the weekend, she'd needed some oxygen because her breathing was so labored and she was still refusing to eat and drink. He was giving her gatorade by syringe. (We've got the sweetest vet in the world.) H was very concerned, but he spared me some of the details of the conversation with the vet. I didn't know enough to be concerned.

Tuesday afternoon arrives and H picks Mocha up from the vet. On the way home he called me and gave me a run down that sounded like this:
H: Honey, Mocha's not doing very well. She needed some oxygen over the weekend and her breathing is very labored.
Me: Oh, poor girl. What's wrong with her?
H: The doctor thinks she might have cancer.
Me: WHAT!?! Are you kidding me?
H: I would never joke about this. I'm bringing her home, but we need to keep things really calm for her. Tell M not to run up to her or cause her stress. No sitting on her or using her as a pillow.
Me: Is she going to die?
H: If she doesn't turn a corner by Thursday, we might need to talk about that.

I hung up on him. I didn't want to have that conversation.

When he got her home, we put down towels and snuggled with her on the floor for a while. H spoon fed her some soft dog food and gave her some gatorade.

I went to bed around 11:30.

H woke me up at 12:30. She wanted to go outside, so they went for a little walk around the yard. She was able to lay down in her favorite spot. When she wouldn't get up, H picked her up and brought her inside. He woke me up and let me know that she didn't have much longer.

We put towels under her and around her. He whispered sweet things to her and we rubbed her all over, giving her lots of love as she left our lives. It was the most peaceful, beautiful thing I've ever been a part of. I was hysterical, but I know she knows how much she was loved when she died. She wasn't alone for one minute last night. Our hearts have a terrible hole right now and we're tearful. But she was never in pain and we were with her in the end. We'll miss her...she was our first baby. I'm glad she didn't suffer.