Monday, March 17, 2008

Simplify: HA!

I shouldn't have made the proclamation that simplify was back in motion.

As a mother, I should always be able to fix what is wrong in M's life. That's part of my job description.

Not yesterday.

M was under the weather yesterday. We went to Sunday School, she just sat around. She was animated, but not very active. I took her into church with us. She just sat around then. I only had to tell her once to hush (VERY unusual). We went to lunch and she ate about 1.5 bites of her lunch and didn't really interact much with her friends at all.

She took a 3 hour nap. Actually, I woke her up after 3 hours. And new immediately that something was VERY wrong. She was hot. Not just I'm-warm-from-snuggled-sleeping. HOT. As in the-house-is-on-fire hot.

I got dressed and took her to the local pediatric after hour joint.

Where she had blood drawn (for the second time in 6 days).
Where she was cathed THREE times before it worked and they got any urine.
Where she had a little procedure done on her special area because it was growing closed.

Where we sat for 3 hours.

And I couldn't do anything to make it better. Her pitiful screams echo in my mind today. While they were trying to cath her, I was responsible for holding her head and arms. Her precious little eyes begged me to make it all better.

Physically, I feel better than she does, but emotionally, I'm all used up. It really stinks seeing your little baby endure so much, knowing you can't make it go away. That more pain must happen to make it all go away.

This morning we had to go see our regular pediatrician. When we pulled into the parking lot, M said, "Mommy, I wait RIGHT here."

Honey, I wanted to wait right there, too.

I'll post MBS later today. I didn't have time last night to download my pictures from my camera.


Maggie said...

Poor M! I hope she's back to 100% soon...that's no fun for either of you! Hang in there...

Andi said...

Oh, Nat! I am SO sorry for both of you!!! Poor M...and poor you. Gosh, I know how it feels to have to sit by and watch, thinking Mommy should be able to make it all better. I will have to go and hold A's hand later this week, as she has her next test (biopsy) for the abnormal pap. Oh, poor us!
I SO hope M is better quickly, and the sound of her sorrow is SOON replaced with the joyous laughter that I know and love! Please let me know if there's anything that I can do for you :)

Christina said...

Oh poor baby! And poor Mommy. That is so hard. We've been lucky to escape medical tests for the most part so far...and I'm so grateful. What an awful time. I hope you're both feeling better now!

Colleen said...

Oh, poor M. That sounds just horrible. Was that what was causing the fever? Or was something further wrong too?

Arizaphale said...

That is just about heart breaking. How awful for you both!! Did they not give her something to knock her out before they did all that???? Seems cruel for such a little tyke to have such invasive stuff done....