It's hard for me to write this after this week. I want to rewind to 16 years ago and make everything strong and healthy. But where would we be if that happened? What would our family look like if things hadn't happened exactly the way they did? I don't know the answer to that question. If I had a magic power, I'd make you feel better.
I know you are the most amazing father I could have asked for.
I remember standing up in the front seat of the car, driving to a restaurant to have breakfast. (That was way before seat belt laws!)
I remember looking for Star Wars figures after seeing the movie.
I remember you calling the figures to wrong names to tease me.
You always were a bit of a jokester, in a silly kind of way.
I remember running across your bed into your arms. And one time into your dresser because you weren't ready for me.
I remember you getting up before the crack of dawn and working until dusk.
I remember how you smelled when you got home from work. That's the smell of hard work.
I remember learning to ride my yellow bike with the banana seat.
I remember my 12th or 13th birthday when you and Mom let my friends and I sit at a table by ourselves. I remember feeling so grown up.
I remember being trying to feel grown up when you were quoting Robert Frost to me before delivering me to my husband.
I remember your call asking how to get to the hospital when M was born, shocked that you and Mom were there already.
I remember you crying when you held M and seeing my childhood wash across your face as you held your granddaughter.
I remember you cuddling with, reading to, loving M in a way that only grandfathers can love their granddaughters.
I love you, Dad, more than I can ever tell you.
Happy Father's Day.