Saturday, January 2, 2010

A Year of Discovery, Part II

A few business things first:

1.) My brother, Zach, is pursuing a life dream. He's going to blog about it here. Please stop by if you have a minute and wish him luck on his new path! I am so thrilled and excited for him.

2.) My heart is so heavy tonight. I was determined not to blog about this anymore, but I can't get around it, so I want it out in the open first. In the past two days, I've learned about three friends' pregnancies. I am completely thrilled for these women. But to be completely honest, I'm also completely devastated that it's not me sharing my news that I am pregnant. I just don't understand why the Lord continues to deny me this one thing. I hate being so selfish and so broken about this and not relying completely on the Lord and trusting in His time, but I just HATE it. Please pray for me that I will be peaceful as we continue on the journey of infertility.

Now on to A Year of Discovery, Part II
Part II: Awareness and Elimination: Know Your Triggers

What old patterns, Default Settings, or beliefs have kept you from living this word until now?
{Think about patterns and settings you've always reacted with. If where you go "by default"--when you aren't living with awareness. Awareness is the key to allowing your Word of the Year to expand you.}

I'm rather impulsive, so in the store if I see something I like, I just get it. Then I end up with more items in my house than I have room for, more supplies than I need, more debt than I can afford. If I have a bad day, I'll do a little retail therapy. I don't avoid situations in which I know I'll spend money. If I feel overwhelmed about something (too much clutter, too many loads of laundry, too many bills to pay), I avoid it by doing something else: knitting in front of the TV, taking a nap, putting my nose in a book. I get so bogged down in the details (there is SO MUCH TO DO!), that I don't know where to start to get ANYTHING done.

List at least three things that trigger you to "shrink" or to run in the opposite direction of your why (and your word). Be specific.

1. It's comfortable to be the way I am. I don't always want to change. It's easier to live in clutter than it is to figure out WHY I allow my life to be ruled by too many things.
2. I like when a friend needs something crafty and I can say, "Oh, yes. Come on over. I've got plenty of that." It makes me feel important and useful.
3. If I want something, I want it now. I'm not very patient. If I waited, I might realize I don't really "need" whatever it is I'm lusting after.
4. Hiding: I find alternate activities instead of talking the elephant in the room (the laundry, the dishes, cleaning off the table.)

List at least five possible "Pattern Interrupt" Habits you can practice in the event of one of your triggers occurring.

1. Do one thing. Instead of becoming overwhelmed, just accomplish one small task. (Putting the clothes away, unloading the dishwasher). Stop procrastinating.
2. Avoid situations in which I know I'll want to purchase something.
3. Unsubscribe to e-mails from companies that flood my inbox with sale notices. It's too tempting.
4. Use my supplies instead of purchasing new ones for a project I'd like to complete.
5. Take my credit card out of my wallet.

List at least five new proactive habits you can incorporate into your life as a means of supporting you in living your word more fully, and thereby diminishing the power your triggers have over you.

(This is powerful, isn't it? To really think this through and write about it?)
1. I'm going to go back to FlyLady to help reduce the clutter in the house.
2. I'm going to set a goal each month to accomplish daily: make the bed, do the dishes before bedtime, and spend 15 minutes on my hotspots each day.
3. I'm going to question myself daily about the importance of "things." Is this important to me? Why? Do I want to keep it just because or is there a reason?
4. I'm going to keep up with The Journey (a new testiment Bible Study my SIL's church is doing by e-mail) so that I spend time in the word more regularly.
5. I'm not sure what number 5 will be, but I'll think of something.

Part III will come tomorrow.

Love,

2 comments:

Rachel said...

Oh friend, I know how hard it is and I am so sorry you have to walk this difficult journey of infertility. Saying a prayer for you right now.

Andi said...

Nat,
First of all, I stopped by Zach's blog. WOW...I know you are just brimming with pride. What a really great thing! I know you've mentioned how long he's wanted this!
Next, my heart breaks for you about the pregnancies. I VIVIDLY remember when I saw babies everywhere, and it used to make me cry. Though my own battle with infertility was not fought nearly as diligently as yours is being, I do completely understand. I love you, and I am praying for your family.
Finally, your profound and serious thought about your life amazes me and inspires me. I have been numb to many parts of life for the last several YEARS, and reading your yearly, weekly, or (lately) daily thoughts about areas for improvement is helping me see that I have a few of my own areas. Good luck to you friend.
One final thing- PLEASE know that I value so much more about you and your friendship that the crafty items I get / borrow / use from you. YOU are so much more important to me...yes, I love your help and expertise, but I love YOU much more than that! I just wanted to be sure you know that. :)
Happy 2010! I have a wonderful feeling about this year. May God continue to bless you and your precious family.