Thursday, May 24, 2007

Run

M and I went to church last night for Wednesday evening supper.

I'm very exhausted because it's the end of the school year.

Probably not a good combination. (church and my exhaustion)

Our church is our family. The members there love and care for us. We love and care for them. Sometimes too much. M was running (really it's more like a slightly quicker walk with her head hunched in front of her and her hands thrown behind her back. Try to imagine a duck as it quickly waddles to protect it's young. I'll have to try to capture this image on film.) down the hall. One of the sweet, old ladies, bless her soul, said something about M's foot. I stopped...and stared at her. What in the world is she talking about? I wondered. I knew, of course, that she was trying to be kind. But did she REALLY have to let her thought come out of her mouth? Is the love and concern of our church family going to be something I have from which I have to protect M?

I wanted more than anything in that very moment to snatch my perfect toddler up and run away with her in my arms--protected in a mommy embrace. I know my irrational reaction was the direct result of my exhaustion, but darn it...M was walking. Of COURSE her foot is doing great. Sure, she still pulls it in a little and might sometimes wobble to the left, but SHE'S. WALKING.

Is she going to be 16 and someone say to her: "I remember when you were a little baby and you had to wear those special shoes." or "We brought your mama and daddy dinner the night you had surgery. You were such a tiny baby." or "It's such a joy to see you run/cheer/dance after all you went through with your foot."

How do you get people to see beyond that one thing so they can see the WHOLE PERSON?

I really, really do know and understand that this is an emotional post because I am way, way, way past tired. I need about a week to hibernate before my emotions return to a normal state. I know that my reaction was in direct relation to my exhaustion.

Thanks for letting me rant.

4 comments:

christinator said...

(((Hugs!)))

I think your reaction is perfectly normal! You are the mama bear, protecting your baby! Even if the comment was well-intentioned it still hurts...you want your daughter to be seen for the precious and amazing girl she is, not for some piece of her medical history that doesn't define her. You go, Mama!

melody said...

Seconding what Christina said.

Natalie, our children are our hearts. I sometimes hear people make comments about my Wil (with CP) as they watch him walk, play or eat. But what really gets to me is if they stare at him. I just want to yank off his clothes, show those people all of his surgery scars, his leg braces, etc. and then smack 'em in the head.

But mostly, people who say things mean well, they just don't understand. I do...{{{HUGS}}}.

All Blog Spots said...

great blog, keep the good work going :)

Stacy said...

Hugs, Natalie! I have noticed that older people really don't think before they say things that can be hurtful. It is like they have forgotten what it is like when their children were young and you want so desperately to guard them against the pains of the world. Your reaction is understandable.