Saturday, December 15, 2007

Heavy Heart

This has been a heavy heart week. I've prayed more fervently this week than I've prayed in a long time. My family is dealing with a cancer scare (my uncle) and the negative effects of a wise decision (my brother).

Not only am I praying for my family, but others whose pain is so real, so NOW:
I've heard of more lost pregnancies this week--one friend lost her sweet baby at 14 weeks, another had a miracle pregnancy after 2 failed IVF's, only it was tubal and she lost her baby and a fallopian tube. When I was reading another friend's blog, she wrote about our mutual friend (I say friend, I've met her once and she's a very, very dear friend of a friend of mine) that lost her baby at 14 weeks, as well as three more who have lost their babies. That's five women whose hearts are broken right now--whose wombs are now empty and once were full.

I cry for them. I cry for the loss. The knowledge that their mother-arms will never hold their red-faced infants, that their breasts will never nurse newborn mouths. I cry because I KNOW. I know the dreams you have for a baby from the moment you know you are carrying a miracle. Yes, there might be another pregnancy, another baby, but nothing, NOTHING will ever take the place of the one that was lost. My heart will always love the baby that lived in my womb for 8 weeks.

Kyla (at The Journey) wrote a moving post about a dream she had that she was pregnant, only to wake to the ache of empty arms. I've had that dream. It sometimes haunts me when the sun is sleeping and my eyes are closed.

But my loss is NOTHING compared to a mother who recently lost her own mother and is now losing her son. Her sweet, precious boy is slowing fading from his family. He will be gone before Christmas, maybe today. I don't know her. I only stumbled across her through Kyla's blog. But I'm on my knees praying for comfort for her family. Please join me. Go there, comfort her when she feels so empty. I remember that emptiness--the blackness. She's hurting.


Kyla said...

Thank you, Natalie. I'm holding all these others in my heart, too. Loss is loss, and it just seems there is so much lately.

Rachel said...

It's heartbreaking isn't it? It does seem like there is so much loss lately...I don't understand it! We cry with them because we KNOW exactly what they are feeling and we are mourning with them. I truly know now what it means to carry each others's not easy. I hope you are doing well and healing from your own loss.

Christina said...

there is so much much much loss. My prayers joing yours for all those hurting right now.

~ Melody ~ said...

I, too, am holding many in prayer. My prayers for those you've mentioned...and thank you for the link.