Friday, June 22, 2007

Feel the burn, baby

With each membership to the gym, new members are given three sessions with a personal trainer. The ultimate goal of these sessions is to get new members to commit to meeting with a personal trainer (and paying very nicely for it) at least once a week.

Well, friends, I had my first session today. I can barely walk now. I'm telling you...the man was trying to kill me.

It gets worse: I was sassy to him. I wasn't very nice during the session! What in the world!?!?!

Example 1: Meeting in the office
Trainer: Are you nervous?
Me: Yes, very.
Trainer: Don't be nervous.
Me: I won't be nervous if you'll stop intimidating me.

Example 2: Learning about the treadmill
Trainer: Have you used this before?
Me: (thinking: didn't I already tell you that I've been here 6 times already!?!) Yes, I know how to use this.
Trainer: Well, your goal is to walk at atleast 3.0 miles per hour.
Me: I can already do that.
Trainer: Oh, okay. Well then, your goal is to walk at atleast 3.5 miles per hour.
Me: (sounding frustrated) I can already do that.
Trainer: Okay. Then your goal is to build up to 4.0 miles per hour. So, today you're going to walk at 3.7 for 15 minutes with the incline at 3.5.
Me: You've got to be kidding me! 3.5 incline is going to kill me!
Trainer: We're only beginning.
Me: I quit.

Example 3: Conversation about throw-up
Me: I hope I don't throw up.
Trainer: Are you going to throw up? I don't want you to throw up.
Me: Then we'd better stop because I'm going to throw up.

Example 4: Stairs
Me: Do you have children?
Trainer: Not yet.
Me: When you do have children and they are in second grade, I'm going to take revenge on them for this torture.
Trainer: Laughed at me

What in the world??? I'm generally not a sassy person. I sounded like a petulant child! I'm rather embarrassed with myself.

Maybe I'll call and apologize. After my long, hot soak in the tub and after I slide down the stairs on my bottom. On the other hand, maybe I should wait until the pain in my legs subsides so I won't apologize through my gritted teeth.


Kyla said...

I'm sure he's used to it. People who torture others for a living probably get a good deal of sassing. ;)

christinator said...

LOL! That's all I have to say - LOL!

natalie said...

People, I'm more sore today than I was yesterday. In fact, I'm past sore. I'm in pain. Lots of pain. I'm not going to use the trainer again. I don't mind being sore, but I'm having trouble carrying M up and down the stairs. That's a tad too sore for me.

Lolly said...

You're not normally sassy?!?! Are you sure? :) You can do it!!!! Keep at it- it will only get better!

melody is slurping life said...

As a former trainer and class exercise instructor, I can tell you that you do not need to apologize. It comes with the job. :)

You were quite frisky and witty there. LOL

melody is slurping life said...

Natalie, soak in a warm bath of Epsom salts for the soreness.

It's called DOMS - delayed onset muscle soreness - and everyone experiences it. New exercisers get it worse. It's evil.

I'm going to clean out the frig now.

Anonymous said...

LOL...OMG I WISH i could feel that way instead of the 1st trimester blues......I am sooooo jeolous.....I love to get that feeling and know that you are on your way yo SKINNY!!!!!!!Keep at it it will get better....