Thursday, November 5, 2009


Tonight I heard the story of Amy for the first time. I've met her parents several times and really like them. We're involved in a big project together, but we don't know each other very well.

Tonight, they blessed me with Amy's story. It was truly a gift from them to me. I am so very thankful.

I know it probably seems that I harp on wanting another baby often. I probably do. I don't THINK I do, but it comes up more often than I realize, I'm sure. Sometimes on this path, I'm just so raw, so broken. It's not how I want to be or how I want to live or how I want others to know me. But it is my reality.

I imagine my babies are little angels, perfect and whole, living in the glory of Heaven. Sometimes it's the only way I can imagine them. I don't have any memories of THEM, so I guess I make up little stories for them, pretend. I'm sure I need some type of psychotherapy.

I hope tonight as Amy's parents told me her story, she was waltzing around Heaven and happened upon two little babies. I hope the young woman they told me about, the young woman with a huge heart, is holding and rocking two of the most loved, missed little babies in the history of parenthood.

Thank you to Amy's parents for telling me her story, for sharing her life with me. I can't tell you how much I feel blessed just knowing who she is and what she did in her 27 years.

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